It has been really good school year for both the girls and I. Ashlyn is busy with dancing, Madi had a great soccer season, they both love their school and have great friends. I love my class this year and have really enjoyed working again with my team. As we have transitioned into our new normal we still see the side effects of our past year.
Madi is sick... a lot. Her immune system and energy took a beating and she has been out of school for more than 7 days. When she gets worn down it lasts for days. We recently went and did blood work and an MRI to make sure all was good due to illness, bruising, and headaches. All was good. Madi is not "text book" when it comes to illness. She never even had vision problems or headaches prior to diagnoses. When she was sick with chemo it was never the "normal" symptoms. As many of you know she has been a sicko (ha) her whole life. She entered this world with her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, dropped 2 lbs in the hospital and has been sending us to the Dr. from day one. :) Sometimes I knew it was "mommyitis" others I have not been so sure. Post-Diagnoses I questioned everything.. has this beast been a part of our lives this whole time and I just missed it? Who knows.. I can't fix that so I let it go. But, now, now I second guess every cough, headache and bruise.
But now, now I know and every time she gets sick I worry. It is like I am on hold for the secondary cancer to hit from the chemo. Not the best mind game to play, I know, but it is my reality.
This year for new years I made the goal to heal. I began running again and have worked to be a better Partner, Mom and Friend. In trying to heal I cannot lie that I feel there is a battle taking place... I know there are great things that can happen because of adversity and I feel like something is trying to stop me from the greatness.
Friends have reached out at random letting me know I am on their mind.. this I know is support I need for being the best I can for my family.
Life, Life is hard and has had so many, many bumps.
We lost Jason's Mom this year and his Dad's health has been poor. It is so hard to walk this path with him and know I am not able to give my all. I have been down this road.. I hurt so much for him. He is so good to his family and the stress is too much, I just want my love to have a break.
I will not lie, there have been many times this year where I wonder if I am just the magnet for pain and suffering. I am not convinced this is not the case.
But.. and that is a BIG BUT(T).. (hahahah)... I have been so blessed with so many amazing people in my life.. so, so many. So the long road has been paved with so much support. How can I wallow in self pity?
Madi is surrounded with such wonderful friends. It has been so amazing to see these friendships bloom this year. Ashlyn is happier than I have seen her in a long time. We are all moving forward together.
This road has many bumps, this road is long, but this road is lined by friends and family cheering us on so the race continues and the run, while hard has a beautiful view.
#wegotthis
Madi is sick... a lot. Her immune system and energy took a beating and she has been out of school for more than 7 days. When she gets worn down it lasts for days. We recently went and did blood work and an MRI to make sure all was good due to illness, bruising, and headaches. All was good. Madi is not "text book" when it comes to illness. She never even had vision problems or headaches prior to diagnoses. When she was sick with chemo it was never the "normal" symptoms. As many of you know she has been a sicko (ha) her whole life. She entered this world with her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, dropped 2 lbs in the hospital and has been sending us to the Dr. from day one. :) Sometimes I knew it was "mommyitis" others I have not been so sure. Post-Diagnoses I questioned everything.. has this beast been a part of our lives this whole time and I just missed it? Who knows.. I can't fix that so I let it go. But, now, now I second guess every cough, headache and bruise.
But now, now I know and every time she gets sick I worry. It is like I am on hold for the secondary cancer to hit from the chemo. Not the best mind game to play, I know, but it is my reality.
This year for new years I made the goal to heal. I began running again and have worked to be a better Partner, Mom and Friend. In trying to heal I cannot lie that I feel there is a battle taking place... I know there are great things that can happen because of adversity and I feel like something is trying to stop me from the greatness.
Friends have reached out at random letting me know I am on their mind.. this I know is support I need for being the best I can for my family.
Life, Life is hard and has had so many, many bumps.
We lost Jason's Mom this year and his Dad's health has been poor. It is so hard to walk this path with him and know I am not able to give my all. I have been down this road.. I hurt so much for him. He is so good to his family and the stress is too much, I just want my love to have a break.
I will not lie, there have been many times this year where I wonder if I am just the magnet for pain and suffering. I am not convinced this is not the case.
But.. and that is a BIG BUT(T).. (hahahah)... I have been so blessed with so many amazing people in my life.. so, so many. So the long road has been paved with so much support. How can I wallow in self pity?
Madi is surrounded with such wonderful friends. It has been so amazing to see these friendships bloom this year. Ashlyn is happier than I have seen her in a long time. We are all moving forward together.
This road has many bumps, this road is long, but this road is lined by friends and family cheering us on so the race continues and the run, while hard has a beautiful view.
#wegotthis